The Act of Forgiveness
A couple of days ago, I had an experience with a friend where, one question I made, triggered a whole 45 minute discussion.
Things that had happened 5 years ago all the sudden were brought back to the present.
Issues I thought we were over, weren't. And even though I had already apologized for my acts, apparently it wasn't enough.
The question is, how do you recover from it? Saying I'm sorry doesn't really repair the damage. Once you hurt someone it's done.
I am not proud of what I've done, whatsoever. However, at the time it happened, I didn't know better. I wasn't aware the way I am today. I thought I was doing the right thing.
Why I did it? Was I too young? Too blind? Me, me, me? I don't know why. But, does it even matter? It’s done.
For a while I was at that position, grieving on it. Why did I act that way? Why did I do that? Punishing myself. Boycotting myself.
Until I realized that, in order for me to answer those questions, I needed to forgive myself. And not only forgive myself, but also I needed to accept myself for being the way I am. I needed to make amends with myself and move past it.
I should be glad that it had happened. Because it happened, now I am able to see that maybe there were other ways I could have reacted to that situation. And because of that, now I am capable of reacting differently in similar situations.
So once I expressed everything I just mentioned to my friend, I heard in his voice a beginning of an act of forgiveness.
We are all the same. That time it was me, but it might happen to him too.
It's good to realize that it all starts within us.
When he realized that I had forgiven myself for having hurt him, he was able to understand that, the pain he was still feeling was only real inside of him. And for it to go away, he needed to forgive himself for letting me hurt him.
It all starts with us. Anything you see on the outside is a reflexion of what's inside of you.
On that thought, I leave with a video of JP Mourão and I in Porto Algere, Brazil, back in July when we went for a short 'Volta ao Mundo' CD promo tour. Hope you like it!
Click here to watch Caro & JP Mourão Programa Radar Porto Alegre, Brazil